Deathy Bahama Lifeguard Hat color_tie-dye he left behind trace DNA

he left behind trace DNA from his saliva that you can now own

They told us we might burn in health for making this low-calorie doormat

available with matching sweatshorts

stylish fleece jacket

terrifying beach chairs on the water

Deathy Bahama Lifeguard Hat color_tie-dye he left behind trace DNAYou, yes you there reading this website: You have been chosen. This hat has been worn since time immemorial by those selfless enough to throw themselves between humanity and the merciless psycho killer that is water. Claim your Lifeguard Hat, take up the mantle, and defend your species against the deadliest stuff on earth. This hat also makes a pretty cool nacho tray.